You are Keyleth, Voice of the Tempest, Archdruid leader of the Air Ashari.

The world is ending.

A gray-haired asshole and a half cuts you to ribbons and her best friend, the purple-haired sorcerer with ties to Ruidus, orbifies your dead boyfriend.

You barely make it out, you’re not healing, the world is still ending. It’s just an all around bad time for everyone.

One of your guards, widower husband of one of your other guards, shows up towing a purple-haired sorcerer with ties to Ruidus who is younger but otherwise identical to the purple-haired sorcerer who orbified your dead boyfriend.

They ask for help. You send them for flowers.

Every day Keyleth wakes up

thepunkpanther:

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But one is a stranger, a woman she notices while she sits on a bench, gathering herself. It’s a type of woman she has never seen before, because there are no old women in Barbieland. When Barbie looks at her, she finds her beautiful and tells her so. The woman already knows. Suddenly Barbie, the fraught aspirational figure, has beheld someone she might aspire to be, and it is a radiantly content nonagenarian, reading a newspaper on a Los Angeles bench, who knows what she’s worth.

“The idea of a loving God who’s a mother, a grandmother — who looks at you and says, ‘Honey, you’re doing OK’ — is something I feel like I need and I wanted to give to other people,” Gerwig says. When it was suggested that this scene, which Gerwig calls a “transaction of grace,” might be cut for time, she remembers thinking: “If I cut that scene, I don’t know why I’m making this movie. If I don’t have that scene, I don’t know what it is or what I’ve done.”

thegoatsongs:

Mina: I have filled out the first entry of my travel journal! Half of it is detailed descriptions of the town and the other half is grim and morbid histories and legends about each landmark. Sir, could you tell me more about these scary stories?

Mr. Swales: Oh, you need not worry about those! Don’t be scared, they’re just tales. They’re not for nice young ladies like you, just for tourists!

Mina, pupils blown out: Sir you do not understand I Must Know Every Spooky Detail